Shit for pearls

I have been flirting with the idea of buying an apartment in New York lately and, considering my current financial situation, in my desperation I called on to the only person who I thought could provide me with some valuable advise and/or funds (preferably the latter). After leaving the conversation only with the advise (which I do value, mind you), I hung up the phone with a somewhat pleasant feeling and perfectly content with my decision of waiting a bit to see if the market values lower a bit in Manhattan. This, of course, is such an optimistic position it is borderline delusional, but still, I was pleased with how the conversation went.

Fast forward thirty seconds. The phone rings:

Me: Hello?
Grandpa: You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about your situation and I need to tell you something. And you need to listen. Do understand that I am a very old person and my old age has provided me with knowledge of how life works and how the world functions (pause – at this point I really thought this man was going to provide me with the single most important piece of information that any adult single woman needs to surf the waters of life, a true pearl of wisdom). You need to have a child.
Me: WHAT?!?! But…
Grandpa: Do not interrupt me! I told you I am speaking and you should only listen.
Me: (bitting lips)
Grandpa: Listen, you are now young and do not think about getting old, like me, but there is nothing worse than being old and alone. Having a child would help you avoid that!
Me: (thinking about the fact that my grandfather did have a child, my dad, who died at 38, and lives alone since my grandmother passed away two years ago)
Grandpa: Yes, you should get back together with J
(my estranged husband, from whom I have been living apart for TWO AND A HALF YEARS) for about a year, and THEN get divorced.
Me: Really? And what should I do during that year?
Grandpa: Well, I am not going to tell you exactly what to do! I already said that you should have a child, didn’t I?

I hung up the phone, not knowing whether I should laugh at this or just get angry. Here is this man, whom I had just called for help and been rejected for a loan, calling me back to tell me that I should get back together with my ex-husband, just to get impregnated by him. Of course, I would have to raise that child, after all, children don’t just tend to themselves, do they? So here is the perfect scenario of my life according to my grandfather: to have and to raise a child, on my own. In New York. Wow! What a GREAT idea! I wonder, why didn’t I think of this sooner????

What a load of CRAP. If that’s the wisdom that old age gives you, I’d rather be (somewhat) young and stupid.