Next stop: Mexico

I am going to Mexico City tomorrow. I am really looking forward to it and to all the tacos al pastor I will stuff myself with. After all, I did go to the gym twice this week, right??

I will see my grandpa and my friends, I will go to all the places that are home to me. I will drink REAL margaritas with good tequila without having to pay $16 dollars for it. I will eat the foods that I grew up with. I will remember where I come from. I will remember who I am.

I have been a little lost lately. So many things are happening in my life that I am letting myself wonder in the woods without paying attention to the path or to the direction I am taking. I do not even think about where the road will be taking me in the long -or even the short- run. At least I just called my landlord to negotiate the renewal of my lease, so that I do not end up homeless.

Living in NYC is fun. I honestly think that I would not be able to live in any other city in the USA because of all the options that NYC offers and because it is also a vertical Mexico City ("vertical" because Mexico City does not have as many -or as tall- sky-scrapers as NY), so all the nuances of living in a big city are not new to me. And I like the options. I like the fact that I can go anywhere here without people noticing that I am alone, because so many others are also alone. But sometimes I miss the "other". Like in that trip I took to Paris by myself while I was still married (yes, and I ended up there alone because the soon-to-be-ex-husband preferred to go to Las Vegas to yet another bachelor party... No wonder why we are separated, right?), and I was wearing my silly Pink Panther t-shirt, and the street sax player started playing Mancini's Pink Panther theme. I had no-one to laugh about this with and it reminded me of how lonely I felt. One of the worst feelings is when you are in a "relationship" and you feel lonely. So I preferred to feel lonely on my own, for real.

Anyway, I am trying hard to stay positive. Really trying. But sometimes the "happy pills" are not enough... (No, I am not taking any prescription medication, I am talking about the enforced positive thoughts).