Two-faced

Isn't it strange how two people can describe the exact same person in two completely different ways? On one hand, the Ex always described me as an introvert, kind-of-shy and somewhat anti-social person ("social retard", he used to call me), and on the other hand, the "guy I am currently hanging out with" (or whatever you want to call it, but for anonymity purposes I will call him Juan) thinks I am this social butterfly who cannot live without going out and being around lots of friends.

To be fair, the reason why the Ex said this was probably due to the fact that I had really NOTHING in common with most of the people he wanted me to hang out with. REALLY. When they were not talking about whomever it was that was not present at the time, they resorted to talking about different lipstick brands (for hours-on-end), the last store that opened in such and such mall, the latest catalog of Pottery Barn or how the French, the “Arabs” and the rest of the world in general are out to get "America" (yes, they seem to ignore that "America" refers to the whole continent, but I decided to stop arguing this issue after the 5th time it happened). This was not exactly my cup of tea.

I can talk politics with the average person, even though I do not consider myself the most knowledgeable person by far in these issues, but these girls' idea of current affairs was watching the new season of whatever sitcom they were into. I guess maybe they would have had an idea if "Sex and the City" aired an episode mentioning something about it. And I am not saying that my conversation is the most interesting all the time either (yes, I do know about Manolo’s and all sorts of brands of cosmetics, and Pottery Barn and Anthropology), but these girls were over the top. Because of this, hum, circumstances, most of the time during my marriage I resorted to: (a) hanging out with the guys in the group, who were far more entertaining, probably because they were drunk most of the time, (b) getting completely and utterly drunk, (c) grabbing my drink and going to a corner to "observe" their interaction, or (d) just staying home. Of course, I had some friends of my own, but in my Ex's opinion they were too "artsy" (my actor friends), or "snobby" (my friends from law school), or "boring" (my friends from work) or "weird" (my gay friends), so he rarely went out with me to any of our get-togethers. The rare occasions he did come out, he made sure to pinpoint how nice and gracious he was being with me, so that I would have no argument against attending his next event.

Now, I admit I have had my episodes of anti-social behavior, but I do not consider myself anti-social, or at least not ALL the time. I also admit that at times I enjoy going out with lots of friends and have a good time, which may involve food and/or drinks, but I also enjoy a nice, quiet evening at home watching movies or reading a good book, or heck, just laying in bed doing nothing. I REFUSE to be absolutely defined by either of these two men, or by anyone, for that matter. The story of the blind-folded men touching different parts of an elephant comes to mind. Afterwards, each gives their idea of what it is they think that they were touching and none of them knows that it was one and the same animal.

Maybe these two men are just at the total opposite extremes of the spectrum. I will try to touch all the relevant parts of the animal to reach an appropriate conclusion. This could be an interesting and enjoyable task…